Making Godly Friendships

Take a look at our third installment of The Benefits of Bible College, taken from Ryan Rench's book, A Case for Bible College.

Looking Back

Parents, have you ever thought back to your college days? Remember all the friends and all the fun you had?

Most people have fond memories of college. They have stories that make them cry, blush, or laugh; and, for the most part, all these stories involved others.

I look back on my photo albums from college and think of all the crazy things we did. The night before my friend’s wedding we bought wax strips and tried pinning him down. No such luck. The best we could do was slap one strip on his chest and rip it off. Have a happy marriage!

Dorm life was always interesting. Once, I walked into our hall only to be welcomed with a shout, a WHIZZ past my face, and a stinging sensation in my leg. I looked down to see what I had been hit with—a bite sized snickers. A few guys had raided the VBS candy stash, found a box of snickers, scrounged up a 4-man water balloon launcher and they were hurdling handfuls of these snickers at all who entered.

What did I do after I got hit?

I said, “OW!… Cool! Hey, I want to try!” And I joined in the fun. Only one guy got stiches that day. College memories with friends are such fun memories!

Godly Friendships Share a Common Direction

Not all my friendships are based on the fun we had together, though. In fact, I would consider plenty of people friends whom I never spent any time “hanging out” with. These friends are not based on shared experiences but on a shared spirit.

I have scores of friends who are going the same direction that I am going in life. They have the same dreams and goals for their lives. They have similar jobs and lifestyles. They have a spirit to serve others and a heart for God. That is what binds so many friendships… a common direction.

I lived across the hall from a man who is now a missionary in Venezuela. I graduated with several men who are now serving all over America as youth directors, doing the same thing that I am doing. I looked up to several upperclassmen in my dorm who are now church planters, pastors and missionaries. I consider them all my friends.

My friends helped me as much as my teachers helped me. Older students who were passionate about the Lord took me “under their wing” and taught me how to be a godly young man. I learned from fellow students—not the preachers—how to love preaching. I learned from fellow students—not always from the teachers—how to be a young man who loved the timeless Word. I saw great examples all around me, and I was able to live with men whom I consider my friends.

Where else but Bible college will you combine hundreds of people who are generally in the same walk of life, with the same goals? Bible college is a wonderful place to make lasting, godly friendships.

Godly Friendships Last.

Because we are human, not all Bible college students are perfect, nor are they all attending for the right reasons. As a general rule, however, scorners are the exception and not the rule. Scorners always find scorners, anyway, so people who desire to do right will still have plenty of friends.

You might think, “Sure, I’ve heard that before. BFF! Best friends forever! College friendships won’t last.”

I know the feeling. I’ve read the high school yearbooks too. “I’ll never forget you. I’ll think about you every day. You were the greatest friend to me…” You might think that with the passing of time, friendships kind of disappear.

Obviously, life goes on and people take separate paths of life. Obviously, life changes things. Day-to-day friendships change because these friendships are no longer “day-to-day” when friends move away from one another.

Although lifestyles change, a friendship that is based on common biblical values will last as long as both friends remain true to those values. When both people are committed to the Bible, a decade can go by and it can seem like no time at all when they meet face to face again.

Godly Friendships are Bible Based

My parents have been in the ministry since graduating Bible college in the 1970’s. I grew up meeting my dad’s friends in the ministry. Many of the people that we as kids visited on trips, sat next to in restaurants, saw at conferences and had in our home were his old college buddies. I remember thinking that my dad must have been quite the “social butterfly” to have so many friends. Really, he probably did not “hang out” with these men every day. Rather, they were (and are still today) friends based on the Bible. Those types of friendships last a long time.

Friendships last a long time when they are based on the Bible, but they also form quickly when they are based on the Bible. Have you ever met someone you immediately knew you liked? You know what I am talking about—someone who seems to have a similar spirit and similar goals in life.

We have missionaries come through our church all the time and it seems like every one of them are our immediate friends. Why? How? Is it that our personalities mesh? Is it because we have similar hobbies or that we’ve had all these fun memories together?

No. Immediate friendships can go very deep not because they are based on shared experiences. They are based on truth. They are based on God’s Word. They are based on the same goal and direction of life.

Bible college, more than any other place in the world, is a place that aligns hundreds of individuals around a common goal. What better place to make lasting friendships?

About the Author

Ryan Rench serves at Calvary Baptist Church in Temecula, CA. He earned his Master’s Degree in Ministry from Heartland Baptist Bible College in 2010. Ryan Rench married his wife, Jamie, in 2008, and they have three children: Abe, Charlotte, and Gwen. Ryan blogs at RyanRench.com and has published several books, including A Case For Bible College and One Youth Pastor’s Toolbox, available from Heartland Baptist Bookstore.